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Marie’s Story: Tears of Sadness, Tears of Joy

by | Nov 11, 2021

Editor’s note. This was posted on the webpage of Wisconsin Right to Life. This is Marie’s true story, told in her actual words. Marie became pregnant at age 18. Nine months later, she became the birth-mom of a beautiful baby girl. The only detail changed in the story is Marie’s name, to protect her privacy.

November is National Adoption Month.

When I found out I was pregnant, I was scared.

At first, I didn’t know what to do. Then I realized that my mom loved me and that I could tell her about it. It would be hard to do, but I could do it. And it was such a good thing that she and I could communicate. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.

When I first told her, we cried. My mom said, “What are we going to do?” And I said, “I don’t know.” I remember the first thing we did was pray. And we asked God to give us guidance and to help us through it.

After that, I knew that we were going to be able to get through it. And it felt like my mom and I were – kind of like – in it together. Just having someone there to hug me and tell me that I didn’t have to go through this alone really helped me.

Abortion was never an option for me. I just couldn’t do that. My biggest struggle was trying to decide if I should raise my child myself or choose adoption. I talked with a lot of different people about it and tried to get good counsel from friends and people I looked up to.

I thought that I could have raised my baby myself. And I could have. But as I thought about it, I realized doing that would have been very hard on my family and on me. It would have been especially hard for my child. Because I knew from the beginning that I wouldn’t be able to give her the important things that another family could – one of the most important things being a father.

If I’d kept her, everything would have been a struggle. I would have been trying to get along and make a living and my parents would have stood behind me, but they wouldn’t be able to help a whole lot either.

I went to a pregnancy counseling center to seek their counsel and get some information on adoption. And I found out that I could go through a lawyer who would work with me personally, so I wouldn’t have to deal with an adoption agency.

The lawyer gave me a big stack of profiles of about thirty different families that were looking to adopt. He said, if I needed to see more, there were plenty more where this stack came from. At the very bottom of that first stack I found a family.

And even though I hadn’t made my mind up yet (whether I would keep my baby or place her for adoption) when I read this family’s profile I knew it was right. It wasn’t long after reading the profile that I finally made up my mind, firmly, for adoption.

Everything seemed to fall in place for me after that. I could feel it was the right thing for my baby to have a complete family – instead of what I might have tried to give her. After my baby was born, I got to stay in the hospital two nights and spend time with her.

The second night, the adoptive mom came in. She and my mom and I had the most wonderful time talking. We must have sat there and talked for three hours. During that time we became very close. That conversation made the next day a lot easier for me. It was kind of a long drawn out process the next day when we handed (my baby) over, legally, to her adoptive parents. When the moment finally came, I felt prepared to give her to them.

When we got down to the lobby, everybody was there. And, I was doing fine until the adoptive family did something so sweet – they gave me a little Raggedy Ann doll – with the words “We Love You” written on it. That did it. I just burst into tears. I really just cried my eyes out.

But when it was finally time for them to leave – it’s hard to describe – I looked at them and I looked at my baby, and I guess I just knew that this was God’s plan. That this was the right thing to do. It was sad and I cried – but it was okay – and I was happy too.

As I look back on it now, I know for sure I made the right decision for my baby.

— Marie

Pregnancy counseling and more information about adoption can be had by calling, toll free, 1-800-395-HELP or 1-800-BETHANY or visit bethany.org.

A complete listing of Wisconsin pregnancy help centers can be found online.

Categories: Adoption
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