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A Letter to My Son

by | Aug 18, 2023

Editor’s note. This appeared at Right to Life of Michigan’s “Real Life Stories”.

Thank you to Jeff Joaquin for sharing his story of post-abortive healing and forgiveness. Jeff Joaquin’s full story of finding forgiveness can be found on his YouTube channel and it is featured on the latest LifeBeat podcast episode. Jeff originally shared his story while speaking at men’s retreats and small groups. He is now sharing his story with the world in hopes that it will inspire others to seek forgiveness. As a part of the process of Jeff’s healing, he wrote a letter to his son.

“I am Sorry, My Son”

As you are very well aware, you started your journey in life in July of 1987 (35 years ago) in the womb of your Mother…

It must have seemed unusual for you to watch as your Father secretly borrowed $200 from a friend to pay for your first trip to the “Doctor” ….

It must have been difficult for you when your Mother entered the building for your “appointment”, and your Father didn’t even have the courage to come in to join both of you….

It must have been unthinkable for you, when you saw your Mother lying on the table in unadulterated fear as the “Doctor” began the “procedure” ….

“Why are my Mother and Father letting this happen to me…” I can imagine were your thoughts as a complete stranger took your life with nobody there to defend you….

Jonathan Andrew Joaquin, I am SO SORRY for what I have done to you….

I AM SORRY, that you will never be able to take your first steps into the loving arms of your parents…

I AM SORRY, that you will never be able to fill your lungs with a deep breath of fresh air…

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to speak your first words to the amazement of your parents…

I AM SORRY, that you will never be able to have a birthday party and blow out the candles….

I AM SORRY, that you will never get the chance to board the bus for your first day of school…

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to play any of the sports that I am sure you would have enjoyed…

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to meet your cousins, aunts or uncles who would have loved to spend time with you….

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to meet your grandparents who would have loved you beyond measure…

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to meet your sister Faith who is 19 years old now as I write you this letter…

I AM SORRY, that you will never be able to feel the sun on your face…

I AM SORRY, that you will never get to feel the wind at your back….

I AM SORRY, that you will miss your High School graduation….

I AM SORRY, that you will never have the opportunity of going off to college and getting a degree…

I AM SORRY, that you will never have the opportunity of carving out your future in this world….

I AM SORRY, that you will never get the opportunity of growing up and getting married and having children of your own….

I AM SORRY, that you and I will never be able to play catch with a football in the back yard…

I AM SORRY, that you and I will never get to go to a baseball game and eat a hotdog together….

I AM SORRY, that you and I will never get to share some of life’s ups and downs together….

I AM SORRY, that you and I will never get to spend a day out on the water fishing and enjoying the day together…

I AM SORRY, that I put your Mother in a position to do the unthinkable with your precious life…

I AM SORRY, that I didn’t have the courage to stand up for your life and allow you the opportunity of entering into this world….

I AM SORRY, for choosing MY future over YOURS….

I AM SORRY, that I used my gift of free choice to prevent you from having yours….

I AM SORRY, for allowing a complete stranger to vacuum you out of your Mother’s womb and discard you in the trash…you are not Biomedical waste, but a human being…

I AM SORRY, for not defending your rights as a wonderfully created image of God and all the dignity that goes with that….

I AM SORRY, for ignoring my crime for so many years before accepting my responsibility….

I AM SORRY, for waiting so many years before seeking Reconciliation with the God of the Universe who knew you before He formed you in the womb (Jeremiah 1:4)

I AM SORRY, for waiting so many years before I had the courage to apologize to your Mother for putting both of you in that unthinkable position…

I AM SORRY, for waiting so many years before I apologized directly to you for my involvement in your murder….

I AM SORRY, for waiting so many years before I gave you the dignity of naming you and taking accountability for my actions….

I AM SORRY, for waiting so many decades before I started to pray to you every day and ask for your prayers for me….

I AM SORRY, that I have not been a better advocate for other men and women who have participated in an abortion…

I AM SORRY, for being afraid to tell our story for many years and thus denying other men and women the gift of opening up their hearts and souls to the forgiveness of God…

I AM SORRY, that I was not the Father that you deserved to have in this world…

I AM SORRY, that I still have not forgiven myself completely for taking your life…

I know with certainty that we will meet one day in Heaven where we will share the embrace of Love that I so long to share with you today, but in the meantime my son, I ask for your prayers of forgiveness and Mercy and know that your Father loves you from the bottom of his heart and he is SO SORRY for what he has done to you….

I know as you hold Jesus’ hand right now and both of you are looking down on me with complete and unconditional forgiveness, I ask for your prayers that one day I will be able to completely forgive myself for taking your precious life….

I AM SO SORRY, my Son….

Jeff Joaquin 6/11/2021

Categories: Abortion
Tags: abortion